Yesterday’s Corner Time: 0 Minutes.
I’ve learnt an important life lesson today – never dangle anything in front of a Beagle.
I'm told that Beagles can resist everything except temptation itself. Unfortunately, there are very few things that God created that aren’t tempting to a Beagle. However, they appear to be particularly partial to anything that dangles. It’s like waving a red flag to a bull.
Obviously, the sight of me standing naked in the kitchen was too much for Jake to bear.
I haven’t felt such excruciating pain since I stuck my appendage in the hamster cage at pre-school.
Dad was of course useless. Caught between laughing uncontrollably and wincing empathetically. Therefore, it was left to Mum to administer the first aid.
Apparently, it’s not only the early bird that catches the worm. You need to keep an eye out for Beagles too.
Matthew.
Related Posts: Sharp Teeth
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Yesterday’s Corner Time: 6 Minutes.
I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Nina, which is nice and easy to remember - an often overlooked quality in a girl.
Whats-her-name is still my girlfriend too. I still can’t recall her name. I tried to break up with her the other day but that turned out to be even more painful than being her boyfriend. So for now, I plan to take the path of least resistance and less bruises.
I haven't told Whats-her-name about Nina yet but there's no way she should find out as they sit on opposite sides of the classroom.
Sometimes, I think Dad regards me as naive but I've got this under control providing I can remember which girl is which.
After all, I'm 4 now and a man of the world. What can possibly go wrong?
Matthew.
Related Posts: Pastures New
I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Nina, which is nice and easy to remember - an often overlooked quality in a girl.
Whats-her-name is still my girlfriend too. I still can’t recall her name. I tried to break up with her the other day but that turned out to be even more painful than being her boyfriend. So for now, I plan to take the path of least resistance and less bruises.
I haven't told Whats-her-name about Nina yet but there's no way she should find out as they sit on opposite sides of the classroom.
Sometimes, I think Dad regards me as naive but I've got this under control providing I can remember which girl is which.
After all, I'm 4 now and a man of the world. What can possibly go wrong?
Matthew.
Related Posts: Pastures New
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
In the Dog House
Yesterday’s Corner Time: 7 Minutes.
I think my parents prefer the dog to me. Good Jake this. Good Jake that. He can’t put a paw wrong.
Everything we do now seems to revolve around Jake.
What’s the first thing we do when I get home from school? Watch TV? Play games? No, we take the dog for an extremely long walk, throughout which, all I hear is:
“Good boy Jake”
“Keep up Matthew!”
“Jake, come here. There’s a good boy.”
“Come along Matthew!”
“Matthew, stop lying down!”
“Matthew, don’t you dare kick Jake!”
“Ah, poor Jakey, who’s a good boy then.”
Bloody Beagle.
Matthew.
Related Posts: Pastures New, Puppy
I think my parents prefer the dog to me. Good Jake this. Good Jake that. He can’t put a paw wrong.
Everything we do now seems to revolve around Jake.
What’s the first thing we do when I get home from school? Watch TV? Play games? No, we take the dog for an extremely long walk, throughout which, all I hear is:
“Good boy Jake”
“Keep up Matthew!”
“Jake, come here. There’s a good boy.”
“Come along Matthew!”
“Matthew, stop lying down!”
“Matthew, don’t you dare kick Jake!”
“Ah, poor Jakey, who’s a good boy then.”
Bloody Beagle.
Matthew.
Related Posts: Pastures New, Puppy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
