Yesterday’s corner time: 2 Minutes.
My sword has been confiscated again, hence the reduction in corner time.
There was a rather amusing incident on holiday after Dad had just retrieved his swimming shorts off the outside wall and was putting them on.
He started dancing around the lounge in a rather bizarre fashion slapping his bottom. His dancing was unusual for two reasons:
1) He was sober
2) It was actually quite good - he must have been practicing.
Anyway, he frantically stripped off his shorts and continued to smack his buttocks at which point, a big black spider dropped to the floor and sprinted under the sofa.
What was that doing up his bottom? I tried to look up mine but I couldn't see anything. I was about to look up Becca’s but Mum stopped me.
Apparently, the spider was having a quiet snooze in my Dad's swimming shorts when it had a rather rude awakening. When faced with its impending doom, the spider obviously decided to alert Dad to its presence in the only way it knew how. It bit him on the ass.
Mum said it was probably going for Dad’s brain.
Dad was concerned that the spider may be poisonous. So, a big operation was launched to catch the blighter in case it was needed for identification purposes.
Once captured, it was placed under a glass on top of the table and I was given strict instructions to give it a wide berth.
Imagine Dad's horror when he returned to the lounge to find me playing with the glass and the spider nowhere to be seen.
"What do you mean you were letting it stretch its legs? What were you thinking? Of course it's going to be fast, it’s got eight of the b#*!#y things!” shrieked Dad.
Dad's bottom was a bit sore for a day or two and Mum said that she was surprised that it didn't impact his speech, as he talks mostly out of that region.
Matthew.
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8 comments:
welcome back from your vacation!
sorry to hear that your father got bit by a spider.
tell your mother, i understand her when she says that your father speaks from that region. my ex-boyfriend was the same way!
Now I look at my having a spider in my hair when I was a young child as not so bad.
Between his cheeks, huh? Did you check to see if it nested and laid an egg sack?! Ew.
Thanks Ally - I'll pass that on!
Blair Bitch, I don't think I'll share that with my Dad as it'll probably freak him out.
Oops, too late - he's dancing around again.
Parents can be funny about things like spiders and talking from nether regions Matthew.
This site is hysterical - glad you were on BotB so I could find nd blogmark!
Yes Peter, they are. My dad was relieved that we weren't holidaying in Australia as you have some nasty varieties.
Thanks Adjunky - I'm glad you like it!
Too funny!! Thanks for the laugh!
Thanks Annette, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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