Soldier

Yesterday’s corner time: 1 Minute.

We went to visit Windsor Castle on Sunday, so that I could see some real soldiers.

Security was pretty tight at the entrance but I still managed to smuggle in my plastic sword.

I even managed to sneak it past the sniffer dogs but I think the contents of Becca’s nappy may have de-sensitized them. One poor Cocker-Spaniel obviously inhaled a little too deeply when checking her, causing it to reel backwards, eyes watering and spluttering.

It wasn’t too long before I spied my first sentry, guarding one of the gates to the Queen’s residence. He stood very still, holding a special gun with a sharp knife on the top against his shoulder. I’ll have to add one of these to my Christmas list.

Anyway, I strolled casually up to him and enquired as to how his day was proceeding but he didn’t respond. Ok, perhaps he hadn’t heard me, so I shouted it. Still no response. How rude. I was just about to clout him across the shins with my sword when, luckily for the Soldier, Dad intervened.

At this point, the Soldier stamped his foot, did some fancy manoeuvres with his rifle and marched up and down the path, returning to his original position. Scary.

Dad tried to encourage me to stand next to him, so that I could have my picture taken. I told him that he had to be kidding but Dad persisted whispering that the Soldier wouldn’t hurt me and if he tried, then he would stop him.

“You’ll fight the soldier?” I shouted out. This sounded good. Everyone nearby looked around, they obviously thought this sounded good too.

The soldier didn’t move but his eyes flicked across to where we were standing.

“What! Fight? No, no, no – of course I’m not going to fight the soldier!” Dad countered in a rather high-pitched voice and then added in a slightly deeper tone whilst trying to laugh nonchalantly, “Don’t be so silly!”

“You said you would fight the soldier and win,” I wasn’t letting up.

Dad hauled me off in the opposite direction and threatened to stick my sword somewhere the sun never shines. Apparently, he didn’t mean England. How rude.

Matthew.